Open letter from parents of trans and gender expansive kids: KOSA would make our kids less safe.

To the US Senate and all organizations supporting the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA):

We write to you as the parents of transgender kids to ask you to please not put our children in further danger by advancing dangerous and misguided legislation like the Kids Online Safety Act (KOSA.) 

We love our kids more than anything in the world. Just like any other parent, we would do anything to keep them safe. We hold deep sympathy for parents whose kids have been harmed by Big Tech social media companies and their abusive business practices. Our kids have also been harmed by these companies’ greed: their addictive design, their intrusive surveillance, their failure to address online hate, bullying, and abuse.

But legislation like KOSA would make our kids less safe, not more safe. It would grant extraordinary new power to right wing state attorneys general to dictate what content younger users can see on social media, cutting our kids off from lifesaving online resources and community. These are the same attorneys general that are actively working to ban gender affirming health care that saves kids’ lives, criminalize drag performances, and label families that accept our children as “groomers” and “child abusers.” 

KOSA would also incentivize Big Tech platforms to engage in even more intrusive data collection, which disproportionately puts trans kids and their families at risk as more and more states move to strip us of our rights and criminalize our kids’ health care, education, and very existence. A recent report from the US Surgeon General showed that access to social media and online community can be a “lifeline” for LGBTQ kids. We need to hold these companies accountable and regulate them, not cut our kids off from resources that can help them thrive.

Big Tech is hurting our kids. KOSA would hurt them even more. We agree there is tremendous urgency around holding social media giants accountable and cracking down on their abusive business practices. That’s why we are imploring you to abandon KOSA, which is deeply flawed and faces overwhelming opposition from human rights, LGBTQ, racial justice, and civil liberties organizations. Then we can work together to advance more thoughtful proposals, like privacy, antitrust, and algorithmic transparency legislation that can address the harms of Big Tech without throwing trans kids and human rights under the bus.

Please listen to us. Our kids’ lives are at stake.

Signers

Phoebe, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Cesar, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Larainne , New Hampshire
Paul, New York
Bridget, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Steph, Massachusetts
Kenneth, Pennsylvania
Parent of a trans kid, New Jersey
Rebecca , Alabama
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Caitlin, Colorado
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Michael, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, New Hampshire
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Clare, Illinois
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Amy, Oregon
Anne, New York
Jeannie , Massachusetts
Alex, New York
Parent of a trans kid, Colorado
Jason, Massachusetts
Jennifer, Texas
Amanda, Oregon
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Louisiana
Elijah, Texas
Sandra , New Jersey
Parent of a trans kid, Louisiana
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Louisiana
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Amanda, Massachusetts
Lucas, California
Tess, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Pennsylvania
Sylvia , Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Julie, Indiana
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Megan , Massachusetts
Kathy, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Jonathan, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Dini, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Catherine, Massachusetts
Emma, Massachusetts
Kimberly, Pennsylvania
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Mary, Nebraska
Parent of a trans kid, California
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Eliza , Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Sybil, Massachusetts
Terri, New York
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Hannah, Massachusetts
Judy, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Michigan
Rebecca , Texas
Parent of a trans kid, Texas
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Jordan, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Kaan, Texas
Tania, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Colleen, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Sabrina, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Heather, Massachusetts
Valerie, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Laura, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Bridget, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Sharon, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Sarah, Massachusetts
Melissa, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Shelley , Massachusetts
Jamie, Connecticut
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, Virginia
Parent of a trans kid, Massachusetts
Toni, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
Evan, Massachusetts
Jessica, Illinois
Parent of a trans kid, California
Astor, Florida
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New Jersey
Melinda, New York
Michelle, Oregon
Eric , New York
Parent of a trans kid, Connecticut
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Washington
Rachael, Washington
Theresa, Washington
Devon , District of Columbia
Rebecca, Minnesota
Russell, Washington
Parent of a trans kid, Oregon
Marissa, New Jersey
Devran, Pennsylvania
Parent of a trans kid, Texas
ARIEL, Michigan
Alexandria, Minnesota
Valarie, Connecticut
Christine , New Jersey
Kristina , Washington
Elijah, Connecticut
Samantha, California
Sarahbeth, Pennsylvania
Parent of a trans kid, California
Jennifer, Ohio
Parent of a trans kid, California
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
Donna, Washington
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Washington
Jennifer, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New Jersey
Angela, Louisiana
Rusty , Ohio
Parent of a trans kid, Maryland
Chelsea, New York
Bart, Massachusetts
Carleen, Minnesota
Alex, Missouri
Alex, Missouri
Parent of a trans kid, Ohio
Parent of a trans kid, Indiana
Elaine, California
Parent of a trans kid, Georgia
AJ, New York
Christina, Wisconsin
Susan, Maryland
Melissa, Pennsylvania
Hector, California
Ben, Massachusetts
Parent of a trans kid, California
Jessica, Virginia
Vincent, Maryland
Lizz , Georgia
Rosalind , Illinois
Andrei , Florida
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Louisiana
Mike, Arkansas
Reid, Pennsylvania
Parent of a trans kid, Washington
Parent of a trans kid, Oklahoma
Nicole, Maryland
Tara, Pennsylvania
Silvan, New York
Parent of a trans kid, Illinois
Amy, Indiana
Blaine, Florida
Jack, Illinois
Andy, Arizona
Wren, Minnesota
Erica, Virginia
Theo, Colorado
Parent of a trans kid, Colorado
Willow, Indiana
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Ryan, Washington
Leah, New Hampshire
Jenny , Pennsylvania
Parent of a trans kid, California
Parent of a gender expansive kid, California
Rebecca, California
Siobhan, California
Paul, Indiana
Ginny, Florida
Bell, Washington
Louis, Illinois
Diane, Texas
Andy , New York
Terry, Indiana
Hannah, Indiana
Seth, Washington
Jeana, Nevada
Parent of a trans kid, California
Parent of a gender expansive kid, California
William, Massachusetts
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Pennsylvania
Parent of a trans kid, Texas
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
Louisa, California
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
Alexandra, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Camille, California
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Colorado
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Nicole , New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
Katharine O, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Emily, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Demian, New York
Alice, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Amy, Michigan
Lesley, New York
Katie, New York
Olivia, Michigan
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Parent of a trans kid, California
Daphna, New York
Daphna, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Florida
Neel, Washington
Parent of a trans kid, Oregon
Wendy, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, California
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
Melissa, New York
Evelyn, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Gina, New York
Miriam, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
Parent of a trans kid, Oregon
Jordana, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Alex, New York
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Michigan
CJ , Oregon
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Pennsylvania
Lori, Colorado
Parent of a trans kid, Pennsylvania
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Colorado
Jen, California
Parent of a trans kid, New York
Daniel, New York
Chelsea, New York
Kristine, Oregon
Daniel, Pennsylvania
Andrew, California
Karen, Pennsylvania
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Massachusetts
river, Kentucky
Karlynd, Oregon
Sammantha, New York
Elizabeth , New York
Parent of a gender expansive kid, Illinois
Corr, Utah
ash , Utah
Rhea, Washington
Parent of a trans kid, Maryland
Parent of a gender expansive kid, New York
grey, Kentucky

Comments

I am parenting a 13 year old trans boy. Like many parents, I am deeply concerned about the harmful impacts of social media on children, and I want to see more regulatory and legal action to hold big tech companies accountable for their actions. But I also know that KOSA is not the solution. It will do more harm by allowing bigoted, transphobic, and anti-LGBTQIA+ elected officials to censor social media. Please oppose KOSA. Thank you.

We can do better than KOSA. Listen to our marginalized populations and those advocating on their behalf.

The trans and gender expansive kids I know need access to online community for their mental and emotional health.

Protect our kids & grandkids!!

Grandparent of a trans kid

I wholeheartedly concur with this letter. Indiana's legislative assault on my family's rights have been extremely stressful and harmful, helping to incite hateful personal attacks. My kids feel isolated here and their closest friends live elsewhere. They talk, laugh, and play together via the internet. Considering how far-reaching Indiana's anti-trans legislation already is, I fear KOSA would create an even more slippery slope. It is clear many legislators have personal anti-LGBTQ agendas that border on violating the separation of church and state. KOSA would create the internet version of the Hamilton East Public Library book banning fiasco in which individuals' personal agendas censor only certain groups of people. I love my kids more than anything and have a strong, open relationship with both. We have every right to decide what is best for us. Parents' rights must extend to all parents, not just the ones with similar mindsets as certain people in power.

This will be used to silence queer voices, especially trans voices. It will be used to isolate a marginalized population, it will be used to make queer kids who feel alone feel even more alone. This legislation will increase queer suicide rates. It will also enable right wing prosecutors to target accepting families of queer kids.

Please remember that all kids deserve the protection of the state. Laws that increase self loathing and suicide are wrong.

I urge you to find an alternative to KOSA. I know in Massachusetts our kids are fairly safe, but I want children everywhere to feel that way.

Trans kids are vulnerable and MUST be protected. Lives are at stake.

Trans children have enough challenges. Please do not give them yet another.

This is not just about our children. This bill empowers state attorneys general to regulate the Internet nationwide. This bill will be used to censor and persecute anyone that does not fit the ideals of white Christian cisgender heterosexual men.

My own child and I learned about my insurance policy covering gender affirming surgery online. I learned a great deal about hormones and health, future ramifications, etc from a plethora of online resources. Please don’t pass this law.

As a trans person myself, I feel this bill will cause serious harm to me, my lover, my friends, and my worldwide trans family.

Trans kids deserve a right to know and learn about themselves without government interference. Monitoring kids online activity is a parental responsibility, not a legislative one.

All children trans or not could be harmed by this legislation as they grow up and try to learn about sexuality and gender.

Stop legislating human bodies.

As a former trans kid myself once upon a time I can authoritatively state that if I had been unable to find information online about transitioning and trans identities and other related content back when I was a kid growing up in an oppressive and abusive anti-trans environment, I would not be alive now to have become a trans adult. Don't steal hope from children who desperately need it.

I do not have a trans child but I cant imagine them going through the negative effects of this bill and this bill will also impact others especially persons of color, women and the youth. This bill is unconstitutional and goes against the values of the United States of America.

Don’t enable haters even more.

This is harmful legislation on many levels and goes against everything that the mantras of small government and parents rights stands for. I want information to be accessible and not criminal. Children will find it regardless. Information doesn’t make children trans or gay. It gives them a language to articulate it. I was one of those kids. I got into a bad marriage that ended in divorce because I didn’t have the language to understand myself as I do now. You want to help suicide? Allow people resources not despair. Fight bullying. Better yet stop being the bullies. This is itself government bullying. It is despicable.

Do not fall for this attempt by those who embrace fascist rule in the name of their religion and seek to harm the most vulnerable children.

Trans people are people.

Trans rights are human rights. Stop demonizing people who want to live their lives as themselves. They're not endangering children by being trans - In fact, many children are saved when they learn they are not alone. Many of my friends are trans, and my life has been made so much fuller with them in it.

Parent of a trans young adult. Finding other trans youth and information about trans health and different trans identities and experiences was a lifeline for my kid when they were coming out and educating me and their mom about what they needed to survive and be who they are. And this was in MA where there is robust access to trans healthcare. For all those kids in states where their identities and healthcare are being criminalized, it is exponentially that much more important to block this legislation and protect their RIGHTS of privacy and access to community and information. PROTECT TRANS KID. TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.

LGBTQ+ resources may be considered "unsafe" by some, but they are shown to be lifelines for kids who are trying to figure out what's going on, often long before they're willing to share with even close parents. Being LGBTQ is not a moral issue, it isn't really even a choice. It's something you just are, like being right or left handed (or ambidextrous).

KOSA is not a way to protect children! The internet shall not be subject to suppression…

Trans youth are so brave. Please do not further isolate them.

KOSA will be used by conservatives to target transgender people, the bill must be stopped.

This bill is designed to give a hateful religious minority control over the internet which belongs to everyone, from all walks of life. It is fascism under a thin veil of protecting children, which this bill will not do in any meaningful way. It will endanger trans people and allow discrimination against them to occur.

“Protecting children” has long been cover for censoring LGBTQIA+ voices and reducing access to information, education, and connectivity. It’s not protecting, it’s controlling and easily used abusively. Protect already-marginalized young people’s access to accurate, caring and accessible information, education, and to community.

My kid just finished reading Fahrenheit 451 and what really struck him was the spiral downwards of blocking content that others disagreed with. He faces toxic messages every day, justified under the freedom of religion. My job as a parent is to help him build resilience to face an unjust world. Please don't think you're helping me by blocking him from worlds where he feels affirmed.

As someone strongly opposed to child exploitation, KOSA is NOT the way to help. Do not use my kid as an excuse to silence people.

Trans rights are human rights. Let our kids be their true selves by allowing them access to the information that affirms their gender identity and validates their existence for them to believe their life is worth living.

Some more nuanced legislation is needed to protect kids from the problematic nature of corporate social media while preserving trans and gender expansive kids access to community and informational resources. KOSA is the wrong response. Do not support it.

Media related to trans identies, trans lives, and trans experiences are already restricted on the internet in various forms. As a trans person, KOSA would mean that all of the things I find joy and comfort in would be irreparably removed.